Contacting me by email
Naturally you could just click the link below and send me an email,
but unless you honour some well-established conventions from the
happy days before Bill Gates heard about the Internet your chances
of getting a reply are pretty slim. It's really sad one has to list
these things which used to go without saying...
If you agree with these conventions, you're welcome to contact me under
the address in the image below; if you don't want
any nosy scumbag reading what you write, get
GNUPG and my
public key (remember to include your own
public key in your mail or I won't be able to reply in a secure manner).
- Do NOT send HTML or Text+HTML encoded mails, these go
straight into my trash folder. Write normal ASCII text.
- Do NOT use top- or bottom quoting as it's idiotic for
many reasons. Do use quoting, that's one of the major advantages
of email compared to paper, but choose traditional quoting: use a
normal > character for quoting, cut the text you're not
referring to and write your reply right below the paragraph the
reply refers to. More on quoting can be found
- Do NOT use soft linewrapping which ends up as one line
per paragraph in standard ASCII terminals, which is extremely
annoying and makes decent quoting laborous. Netiquette demands that
lines should not exceed 80 chars (actually less to account for
a couple of levels quoting depth).
- Do NOT send attachments unless I explicitly asked you
to first (people I have regular correspondence with are exempt from
this rule). If you violate this rule I might feel inclined to send
you a coredump and that might hurt my online bill less than it
- Do NOT ask me questions in any way related to Windows, in
particular Windows binaries. I don't do Windows and I don't want to
be bothered with this sorry excuse for an operating system. You're
welcome to ask me questions about RISC OS or Linux, though.
- If you want to draw my attention to a website, send me the link
only. Do NOT attach the website to your email.
- If you send me a file as an attachment, do NOT use
a proprietary file format such as Word or PowerPoint;
use an open format such as PDF, LaTeX, PNG,
JPEG etc. If you don't know how to create these, learn some
elementary computer basics first.
- No, I'm not interested in hot young teens, having a penis
enlargement, reducing my weight, getting out of debt quick or
lending money to whatever tribe which'll get the oil concession
next month either. How stupid do you think I am?
If you prefer not to conform to these elementary conventions: this is
my page and you can bugger off and play with the other village
Due to the recent virus mailbombings, I will no longer put my email
address in a machine-readable form on my website or any other part of
the public internet. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but given the
choice between getting 100MB of virus spam a day and forcing people
to type in my address manually, it's fingers-to-the-keyboard time for
you. If you have a problem with that, complain to
Microsoft, whose insecure
software and retarded users are responsible for this unfortunate
turn of events.
So here goes (OK, it's not pretty, but so what...?)
Back to my homepage.